A Field of Glory

She was a rolling meadow small, skirts of grasses, but weeds as tall
Her wild flowers, untamed and fair led her to ignore the patches bare
Where not a green thing grew at all
And the sun, why she basked in its bliss, unaware
She was burning from its hot, dry kiss.

Then, one ragged day He came,
Plan in place He began to toil
His work, it ripped through and overturned her soil
Crushed her wild flowers down,
Uprooted the grasses of her gown
She cried in pain, "Just leave me be,
Can't you see you're hurting me?"

He did not stop but worked harder still,
He pulled the weeds that had grown so tall
All burrows were filled, so as not to fall
He broke the ground so dry and cracked
He was not discouraged by what she lacked

Horrified she looked around and all she saw was broken ground
Dusty field of brown and black, spread with muck on top of that
But now He whispered as He sowed
A promise of new life with every throw

"Shhh, small one, do not weep
My plans for you may seem but meek
But trust me and you won't be sorry,
I'll make you into a field of glory"

She ceased to cry and when she did
Tears from Heaven flowed instead
Rain immersed her ground and washed her clean
New growth, new life, she was redeemed

She loved Him now and bore His work
A meadow small she could not be
"I'll be His field of glory!"
She spoke determinedly

And where she had been stripped to dirt and dust
She grew straight and tall, leaving Him her trust
So now she wears an emerald gown
Her hair bright gold and eyes of sky
She dances in joy as the wind blows by

Because He's making her a field of glory
Fulfilling the promise that she won't be sorry
A song of courage and truth she hums
She knows she'll be with Him when the harvest comes.

~L.L.M.

Rules & Obedience: Part 2

So back to the obedience topic. I was trying to establish that when you’re immature in your understanding, like a child, you are basically coerced into obedience. If you were fortunate enough to have loving and mature parents this coercion was for your own good. In my personal observations, coercing children, though not as pretty of an experience, seems to have a much better long term effect than bribing children into obedience (which is what we tend to see a lot of these days in public; but I digress :).

There is no "right way" when you've
 been told to stop :)

Anyhoo, as you get older you start to understand how obedience, trust and rewards can become intertwined. I sincerely wish more teens would figure this out earlier - it would make the beginning of their adult lives so much easier and enjoyable 1.If you continually do as your parents ask, even when it doesn’t suit what you want to do, they notice. 2. They suspect you have developed maturity. 3. When your parents sense maturity coupled with obedience they develop trust in you. 4. Because they trust you, they let you do more without fearing for your safety. 5. You get to do fun stuff with your friends and develop a trusting relationship with your parents. Some teenagers go around trying to be stealthy and secretive - already having decided that their parents are unfair creatures. When teens are hiding parts of their life from the people that love them, parents get suspicious and they crack down. They can’t help themselves - it’s not in parental nature to trust a child that has not proven that they are indeed trustworthy. Teens that think that trust should be inherent are kidding themselves. Parents used to be teens too - of course they’re going to suspect you’re up to something if you are not being transparent. Teens often don’t realize that trust starts with obedience and is maintained with transparency. It sucks to be those teens. 

The teens that do figure this out reap the rewards of obedience. A fairly common rule in our house was that you had to have your homework done before you were allowed to do anything else. If you procrastinated about doing your homework, complained incessantly about having to do your homework or lied about doing your homework you could plan on being harped on, grounded and experience a lot of discord with Mom. On top of that, you missed whatever it was you were supposed to do with your friends and instead were stuck inside figuring out algebra. When I started a practice of coming home from school and immediately sitting down at the kitchen table, opening my books and getting my homework done and then getting any chores done before supper, my mom noticed. After a few months of my mom seeing me carry out this routine every day I never got asked the annoying question “is your homework done?”. She trusted that it would be - just as it had been every day for the past three months. She would also see the check mark beside my chores on the list and trusted that I done my share around the house. The results were phenomenal! I wasn’t continually feeling harassed by my mom to do my homework and chores and I felt like a good daughter for getting them done before being asked. Because I was consistently studying my school marks soared, and so did my social life and extra-curriculars because I was always able to attend. I liked these rewards - being obedient was pretty easy when you knew something good would come of it. By the time I was 17 years old and in Grade 12 I had an apartment and was living on my own two hours away from my parents. All just because I had been obedient to them and had earned their trust. 

This is no longer obedience through coercion. This is obedience through logic and reward. It’s efficient but it’s only effective when a certain maturity level is reached that allows you to figure out the logic behind obedience. This comes back around to why I’m inclined to think bribing your child with a reward in exchange for obedience is a bit lack lustre in effort.

I really am going somewhere with this, I promise. I realize it’s a bit of a strange topic. Hang in there with me. There’s at least one more part, if not two more in this strange little series.