"To the Core"

If you were to strip away all of the layers of your existence, who would you be at the very core? I’ve found this to be an intriguing question of late as I’ve been considering what is really important in life.

I could start by bringing up the theory of tabula rasa - the idea that we are born into the world as blank slates and our personality and knowledge is completely dependent on the people and surroundings that influence us. I could write about this. . .but I think most parents would unwaveringly say that we are born into the world with our own little endearing personalities intact. I would agree and personally think that although our surroundings play a huge role in how we develop, we are born into the world with an unadulterated identity. However, by the time we are adults we have been so saturated by the world at large that we base our identity on the things that surround us instead of who we really are at the core. Maybe many of us don’t really know who we are at the core anymore. The world teaches us to define ourselves by our name, our occupation, by what we’re good at or by what we enjoy doing. We think of our identities as dependent on our spouse and children, maybe even by our family name and heritage. Some people would count the type of clothes they wear or the kind of music they listen to, the television shows they watch, the items they like to collect. We define ourselves by our gender, our skin colour, by the country we come from.

But what if you stripped all of that away? Who would you be then? In the past I might have said that I work on an ambulance, I read, write, take photographs, play piano, have a dog, hike, travel, go to church. When it comes down to it though, these are all things that I do or things that I enjoy. They are all dependent upon something - an employer, books, cameras, an instrument, another living thing, a congregation, not to mention finances. I think who we are at the core should not be dependent upon anything or anyone else.

When you think of it like that, you actually have to really think about who you are. Don’t you? We have more layers to us than a giant onion. It’s so tempting to consider yourself a product of the events, both good and bad that have happened to you in your life. It’s tempting to define yourself by the things you are passionate about or by what you’ve dedicated your life to doing. Still, I would argue that who you are goes much deeper than that. What you do or enjoy doing, what you’re passionate about are more like reflections of who you are. They’re a mirror that can reflect your core being.

It takes some serious consideration to get back to your core being. I’m still thinking about it. I know that I was born with a lot of compassion - especially when it comes to animals and even insects (I prefer to relocate spiders rather than squish them :). I know that I’ve always innately known of God’s presence and at my core I think I have a propensity for loyalty and sincerity (both which can have either positive or negative reflections in life).

I’ve found thinking about this to be very liberating. It puts things in perspective. To be frank, when you die, all of the earthly things you ranked high on your list of importance (status, finances, career) will be as valuable as an American penny in a Canadian dollar store. I think who we are at the core is what we entered the world with and is what we will exit the world with and personally I’d like to get reacquainted with who I am as a soul before that day graces my presence.

Too deep? Don’t worry, I’ll do another “AWESOME” post soon.

Dreams and Painted Horses

A friend and I were reminiscing about the imagination games we used to play when we were kids and we got to wondering what happened to our imagination? It seems as adults we only use our imaginations to problem solve. I use mine to imagine how many sheets of drywall I’ll need to finish my basement or to come up with medical worst-case-scenarios and how I would handle them. But this isn’t fun like pretending the blue carpet was ocean and the bed was a boat and there were sharks that would get you if you touched the carpet while jumping to the island. I suppose when you’re a kid that’s being well-provided for and you’re being told when you will eat, what you will eat, how much you will eat, when you will go to bed, when you will get up, what you will wear, when you will share, what you will share, how you will behave etc, you have the luxury of using your imagination for games and stories. As an adult it seems that imagination is a problem-solving survival tool. The other thing that children have the luxury of doing is dreaming big. I whole-heartedly support this. I think everyone, regardless of age should dream big, but I’ve also learned it’s a lot easier to do when you’re safe with your parents then when you’re out on your own making ends meet. When you’re a kid, if you’re lucky, your parents teach you that there is value to your ideas and thoughts and that the world can use you in anyway you can imagine if you are willing to work toward it. This is when we were going to be astronauts and doctors, when we were going to explore the world and raise enough money to feed all of the starving children or save the rainforests. (We had a penny drive to save the rainforest in elementary school. I was seven-years-old and when they announced that we had raised enough money to save one acre I was sure we had just saved an entire forest.) We had big, wonderful dreams. I think we always need to encourage our kids to dream big. However, we also need to introduce them to real horses. (Random statement that will make sense soon.)

Also along these thoughts are painted horses. Another friend and I were having supper at the food court in Chinook Mall yesterday. There’s a big carousel there that I was watching and it seemed that there was a life metaphor in this carousel. Children rush onto the carousel and pick out a horse that catches their eye. These horses are painted different colours and are bejewelled and feathered and have flowers in their manes. The kids get on and they go up and down, round and round and round. They think it’s great. Who wouldn’t want a shiny horse with a sparkly braided tail and flowers in its mane? I was thinking that some adults treat their dreams (or their lives for that matter) like these painted horses. That they’re colourful and sparkly and look fun but they just go up and down, around and around and never get anywhere. They never really develop a relationship with their painted horse, heck, they never even have to feed it. They just sit on it and think they look good as they go around in a circle.
The rest of us get off the carousel at some point in our childhood and eventually we find a real horse with our name on it. The reality of these horses is that they’re big and powerful but you have to learn to control them. They eat a lot, crap a lot and some bite. They kind of smell and they make you sneezy. It takes a lot dedication to look after one properly and to develop a relationship with it and even then you might find yourself getting bucked to the ground. These horses may not have flowers and jewels in their manes but they don’t just go up and down, around and around either. These horses, when they’re cared for properly can take you virtually anywhere at any speed you choose. They can carry extra loads sometimes and warn you when predators are near. Riding them may leave you sore and chaffed but you will get where you’re going.

I’m thinking that maybe, as adults, that if we used our imaginations more often for silly games and made up stories we may be less stressed and laugh more often. That if we could remember to dream big we would find more opportunities to use our talents and resources to improve our little corner of the world. If we make sure we’re putting the effort into our lives and dreams as though they were real horses, then we won’t be the weird, middle aged guy in a suit sitting on a childrens carousel while someone fills out a Form 1 one for him.

Awesome Stuff #2: The satisfaction of a "grown-up" purchase

No, it’s not an Xbox, nor is it a Yamaha. It’s not a trip to Mexico. Yet you find yourself a little bit excited. Maybe even a lot excited. In either case you’re more excited than you thought you would be about something that a mere 10 years ago you would have dismissed as thoroughly boring and unimpressive.

Yet here you are eagerly awaiting it’s delivery, or its completion, or trying to find the English side of the instructions. It’s probably something you’ve put a lot of thought into, maybe even researched. You might have struggled to save up some chunks of paycheque for it. You booked a day in your schedule to go pick it out, maybe sought help from an advisor who’s done this kind of thing before you. Likely there were two or three options you had to painstakingly way the pros and cons of.

You went through the drawn out decision process, tickled your bank account and now you are the proud owner of an adult purchase that will marginally improve your life. Not long ago you would never have considered spending your hard-earned, minimum wage cash on such a mature and responsible purchase, but now that you’re a homeowner and like to think of yourself as a “grown-up”. . .well, you can’t help but think of it as
AWESOME!