Stumbling on a Blessing (a.k.a Remy the Really, Really Good Painter)

Blessings are good right? That's a dumb question. Of course blessings are good. Just the word carries positive connotations. I'd even say that most of us are fairly grateful for the blessings we've already received. After some discussion at Sunday school today however, I'm wondering if we can begin to stumble over our blessings. I'm thinking that we can let our blessings alter our attitude, prevent us from participating in open fellowship and prevent us from fully communing with the Lord.

To better illustrate my thoughts (and mostly for my own amusement) I'm going to use a fictional story about "Remy, the Really, Really Good Painter".

Remy lived in a community of painters. Some were admittedly really poor painters, some were average painters and some were pretty good painters. There were a couple that were really good painters. However, God blessed Remy and made him a really, really good painter.

Remy knew that God had blessed him with this gift. He was thankful for it too. People paid more money for his paintings and so he had a nicer house. He got a lot of publicity for his paintings and so everyone knew his name and complimented him on his work. He also had a number of beautiful paintings to decorate his home and to give to people as gifts. Yup, Remy was one blessed dude. However, Remy didn't always know what to do with such a big blessing. He didn't always know it, but sometimes it caused him problems.

 Remy was a genuinely good guy, so he had lots of friends. One day he was painting with his friends. Some of his friends had finger paintings, some had paintings made for calendars, but Remy - his painting was fit for the Louvre. Everyone gathered around it. "Wow, Remy, that's a really, really, good painting! That's incredible!" Remy knew that it was a really, really good painting but like most people in the community Remy valued humility and he didn't want to seem boastful so he contained his smile and just said, "thanks, but it's not a big deal, I don't really care about this one". His friends turned to sheepishly put their only half-decent paintings away.

Remy's friends would often ask him to help them with their paintings. After he helped them perfect a certain brush stroke or get the shadowing just right his friends would say "Remy, thanks very much for helping me. I really appreciate it." Again, Remy didn't want to seem prideful so instead of saying "you're welcome" or "glad I could help" he got into the habit of saying "no worries" or "not a problem". A few of his friends became more hesitant to ask for his help.

One day, Remy and his friends were sitting in the coffee shop discussing painting. His friends were lamenting about how they often had difficulties mixing the colour hyacinth purple. Sometimes they used too much red or other times not enough blue. Remy didn't have any trouble mixing hyacinth. He was having trouble lately mixing lagoon green though. It was becoming troublesome that he couldn't quite get it the way he wanted. He figured he couldn't really complain though - after all he wasn't having the issues with hyacinth that the others were having. So when his buddy asked, "Remy, are you having any problems with your painting?" Remy answered, "I can't complain, I'm very blessed." Soon his friends began to worry that maybe they couldn't relate to Remy anymore or maybe he didn't trust them with his problems anymore.

Remy was excited when he read the tender for the commission of a painting for a The Snazzy Yacht Club. If he was chosen it would bring in enough money to pay off the mortgage on his parents house and have a enough left over for him to build a studio, or maybe a painting school! He put in his application. However, when he knelt to pray before bed that night he decided not to ask God for the blessing of receiving the commission. He felt that would be selfish. God had already blessed him soooo much, especially with his talent for painting. Remy didn't get the commission.

The next day Remy ran into his church pastor at the local Art Gallery. "Hey Remy, how did you ever get that commission for The Snazzy Yacht Club?"
"No I didn't actually," said Remy.
"Oh, that's too bad. I supposed God decided to answer that prayer with a 'no' then eh?" Said the pastor who was a bit odd and had a habit of making awkward statements.
"I didn't talk to God about it," admitted Remy. "I thought it would be selfish to ask God for more blessings on top of the ones he's already given me."
"Hmmm," the pastor paused. "Well Remy, let me ask you this - If you heard a child asking their parent to feed them supper, even though the parent fed them supper the night before, and the night before that - would you think that child was selfish?"
"No, of course not," said Remy.
"Well Remy, remember you are a child of God."
Remy raised his eyebrows and nodded as he considered what the pastor's reminder. "I've never thought of it that way. I never considered that I could let my blessing get in the way with talking to God."

Remy began to consider where else his blessings were causing him to stumble. . .

~***~

So that's Remy the Really, Really Good Painter. Like I said I was thinking about this today as a few of us were discussing how sometimes we don't ask God for something, or we feel bad about asking God for something because we've already received so many blessings. We forget that God wants us to tell Him everything and that he wants to give us good things. Later on I began to think on what other issues could arise from our blessings.

The first and most obvious one I thought of was pride. It begins when we forget that we are nothing without God and start taking the credit for ourselves. However, we all know that arrogance and boasting is bad, so I moved on to thinking about things that might not be so obvious.

If feeling we're overly blessed could keep us from talking to God and keeping fellowship with Him then it could probably keep us from open fellowship with our friends. We don't want to sound like we're ungrateful and complaining so we don't open up to our friends about our day-to-day trials. We forget that there's a difference between complaining to our friends and open discussion and mutual support from our friends - especially when we face the same or similar issues. There can also be more humility in accepting a compliment with a simple thank you or accepting a thank you with a simple "you're welcome" than there is with trivializing it.

It was a new thought to me that even when God gives us a great blessing we run the possibility of stumbling while we strive to be humble and grateful for that same blessing. Just thought I'd share my thoughts. What do you think?

In Spite of Our Grief

This post is not on facebook, nor does it have any labels. So if you're reading this its because you have a habit of reading this blog or you're a friend. In which case I won't need to explain too much about the recent history of this post, nor will I.

When you work in EMS accident scenes are just that - a scene. Usually they are fairly run of the mill. Then there are the accident scenes that you know are going to be bad, just by listening to the dispatch information. When you hear the report from dispatch as you are driving towards a huge rising plume of black smoke you pray and you pray hard. You start to go over your protocols, your pediatric drug dosages, BSA percentages - anything so that when you step out of that ambulance you feel prepared.

You park a safe distance away and begin to walk, ignoring anything that you can't fix - whether its a two vehicles engulfed in huge, intensely hot fire or a swarming group of bystanders frantically telling you what they think you need to be doing. Nope, you just carry on towards the Medic that was first on scene, the one who will assign you a patient - the patient that you're mentally prepared to take care of.

It's a good thing that you're mentally prepared. It's a good thing that people who work in this industry typically have the trait that allows them to mentally overcome emotionally disturbing sights. Because nothing prepares you emotionally for when you walk up to your patient, remove the massive queen-size comforter that's been wrapped around them and look in to the grief-stricken face of your friend. Nothing.

It's four days later now and where do we go from here?

I think of the saying, "Inside of me is a weak heart but behind it is a strong God." This weekend I was reminded of how truly weak my heart is. How quick I was to question God's plan, question his grace, how defenseless I left myself to the devices of the evil one. I've been upset because it's like looking through a window, I can see God at work but I can't feel him through the glass. I don't feel His comfort.

Emotionally I don't feel God's comfort, but mentally I know it exists. I don't doubt. I don't doubt where Les is. I don't doubt that he's beyond happy. And I definitely don't doubt that this is part of God's plan. It just sucks is all and it doesn't feel good. There's no warm and fuzziness. But now that things are calming down, I know that God is not witholding His comfort from me - it's me that's not letting Him close. It was pointed out to me that if I can see God's work through the glass but can't feel him it's because He's on the outside and he's waiting for me to open the window.

There is the miracle that Tony and the boys are okay. I cling to that. As the days go on I can start to see more blessings. I was thinking about what I would want if I was in an accident. The truth is, I would want my EMS friends to be the ones to look after me and my family. I would be comforted to see my friends from the fire department there. I'd want my friend to tell me first that my loved one was dead. I'd want my friends to pray with me on the side of the highway. To have familiar, loving faces there in my time of need would be such an amazing blessing at such a terrible time.

When I think of that - I don't feel I need to ask God "why?" anymore. When I can think of it like that I feel honoured that God let me be there for my friends in their time of need.

I want to work on getting that window all the way open before the funeral so I can bring God's comfort to others as my friends have been doing for me.

So, if you are part of our community's story I hope you can feel God's comfort working in and around you. If you're struggling then at least know that I understand and that I do believe that God is waiting to give us comfort too if we just let Him all the way in.

"We rejoice in spite of our grief, not in place of it." -Woodroll Kroll

Cam

My brother, Cam, got married a week ago today. It was a wonderful occasion. We are all very aware that Cam is incredibly blessed to have his wife, Kyla at his side. She's the full package. Smart, beautiful, kind and funny. She balances him, organizes him and has demonstrated that she will love and care for him no matter the circumstances.

However, because Cam is my only sibling, because he just got married and because I can, I want to take some space to talk about the kind of guy that Kyla's married. It's often been noted in literature that there is no one in the world that is a closer genetic match to you than your sibling. There is no one else, who when your parents are gone, will be able to remember your early lives other than your siblings. They are often your first playmate, your first adversary and your first defender. For Cam and myself this is the case.

My parents basically gave me Cam as a present on my 3rd birthday. That was the first day I met him. Born the night before, he had breathing complications that saw him rushed to the NICU before my mom even got to hold him. Obviously he survived but he scared my mom out of having anymore children. As I sat there on my mom's hospital bed looking at him, I was very puzzled as to why they were naming him after a camera. I distinctly remember thinking 'he sure doesn't look like a camera'.

Cam was my first playmate. We both had amazing imaginations and as a bonus, Cam was the more laid back of the two of us and was usually happy to go along with whatever I decided we were playing. We slid down the stairs on couch cushions, built forts, flew Barbie/G.I Joe helicopter missions, played street  and hallway hockey together. When it was windy outside we would imagine we were preparing for, and then running from a tornado. Cam happened to have blue carpet and a Captain's bed in his room which made for an instant game of fishing, sailing and being rescued from sharks when we fell overboard.

There are a few family stories that revolve around me mistreating my brother. Notably that I put him in the dryer once (though I didn't do it maliciously) and that I held him under water in the kiddie pool (I did do that maliciously). I may have also witnessed Cam taste testing three different types of soap and dog treats. However, it was Cam who all on his own, dumped a box of salt straight into his mouth thinking it was sugar. It was Cam who took the oil can and oiled EVERYTHING in dad's workshop and Cam who decided to build a new electrical appliance out of old spare parts and then attempted to plug it in to the wall. Fortunately mom's spidey-sense was tingling and she caught him just as the plug headed for the socket.

Sometimes, after I had received a severe punishment and was crying in my room, Cam would come in and hug me and try to make me laugh. I remember standing in the school yard one day in elementary school while a group of bullies hurled insults and threats at me. Cam saw me and he simply walked over ignored the bullies and taking me by the hand, led me away. That was the type of kid my little brother was.

Now I want to talk about the type of man Cam is today. There are some things I continue to share with my brother. We are both extremely avid readers. We both love dogs. We enjoy debating politics and current events. Cam's the only person who could get away with phoning me at 8 a.m. on a Saturday just so we could debate the Wildrose Party vs. the Conservative party while we're still lying in our respective beds. We enjoy hiking, soccer and hockey and we both love that we're Albertans. Cam is one of the only people who can get away with calling me by my full name.

Cam makes an effort to converse with every person in the service industry he meets. Whether they are a waitress, janitor, salesperson or cashier, at the very least he will have learned their name and how their day is going before he leaves, if not more. He takes the time to thank them with sincerity for the job that they do. Cam is the type of guy who will go out and pick up a friend in the middle of the night when they need a designated driver. He's the kind of guy who will spot you the money to pay for your meal and then tell you later not to worry about it. He's the guy who can listen to you rant about your most recent problem and he won't tell you that you're being irrational, even if you are. Cam will even walk you to your car to make sure that you get there safe. One of the best things about Cam is that when you are feeling blue he will do his best to cheer you up and make you laugh.

When I was on practicum, Cam took two of his days off just to come babysit my dog for me. After Cam got rid of his truck he went back to the yard and got permission to take off the tailgate just because I'd asked him if I could have it for a friend. Cam took me with him to pick out an engagement ring, not because he needed me but because he knew it would mean a lot to me. Just before his wedding Cam spent most of a day with me while I ran the most boring errand ever. When I walked down the aisle at his wedding and finally made eye contact with him through the tears that were welling up he smiled at me and in typical Cam-fashion said "Hey, how's it going?"

At his own wedding reception Cam was down on the ground with a server trying to pick up the shards from someone's broken glass. He danced numerous times with the four-year-old flower girl and he stopped to take a meal to our grandfather's room because he was too ill to come to the wedding. Earlier that day Cam related that he was "marrying the love of my life" and he meant it very seriously.

Cam is the type of guy who told Kyla very early on in their relationship that he doesn't believe in "taking a break". He figures that if that is the case you might as well end the relationship. He believes that if you are willing to "take a break" then you are not willing to try to work through tough times and disagreements. If you are not committed enough to stay by your partner's side when things get rough then you're not ready to be in a relationship. Pretty wise stuff eh?

That's Cam. He loves Kyla, he's committed to her and he's an over all really, really good guy, not to mention a great brother.

So, sorry girls. My brother? He's taken.