Bungy Jumping - Just Let Go

In July of 2009 I climbed above a rainforest canopy in Cairns, Australia and proceeded to jump and fall 50 metres with nothing but a tea towel (I kid you not) and a harnessed gigantic rubber band attached to my ankles.

It was one of the best things I have ever done in my entire life. I would honestly recommend it to anyone. You won't regret going through with it.

Going through with it the first time - that's the tricky part, even when you have every intention of following through. I left home for Australia already planning to make that jump. You may not know it by looking at me, but I'll pretty much try anything once (the exception being food - there  are some things I don't feel the need to ever put in my mouth). Bungy jumping had been on my list-of-crazy-things-to-do for awhile and when the day came to head to the rainforest I was totally pumped.

I was the only girl in the group willing to do it and I energetically led the climb up the 196 stairs to the top. The next thing I knew I was volunteering to go first and a tea towel was being wrapped around my ankles. I remember being thankful that I didn't have a fear of heights and for my EMS training as I had remarkable control over my adrenalin and had no pre-jump jitters. At least not until I shuffled my toes to the edge of the platform, looked out to the Great Barrier Reef and fully realized that I was actually going to have to voluntarily jump head-first off this tower. My right hand grabbed the conveniently placed bar and the thought ran through my head that I wasn't going to be able to do it. I still had no fear of heights but I sure learned that I had a fear of relinquishing control and jumping head first.

Thankfully, the jump tech makes a living out of convincing people to let go of that darn bar. From the moment he saw my hesitation he began talking softly and calmly to me. He told me three things.
1. Just put out your arms, take a deep breath and jump. Trust me, you won't die.
2. It seems scary right now but I promise, when you let go and let yourself fall, it will be the most exhilarating feeling of freedom ever!
3. You will never regret doing this and you can go home knowing that you've accomplished what you set out to do.

I chose to believe him. So on "1" I let go of the bar. "2"- I stretched my arms straight out from my sides. "3!"- I pushed off and let my self fall headfirst. A quick scream and then absolute euphoria filled me as I felt the freedom of falling without that fear of imminent death. The giant rubber band snapped me back up and I bounced around as I laughed uncontrollably. The idea that few short seconds ago I had been terrified to let go of a bar seemed ridiculous. I remember telling the guy that rowed out to me in the rubber dingy to hurry up and let me down so I could climb back up there and jump again. Then that's exactly what I did, except that now I was near giddy to let myself fall again.

Like I said,  it was one of the best experiences of my life and a good reminder that just because you think you want to commit to something and because you plan to commit doesn't necessarily mean that when it's time to jump you're not going to hang on to that bar of fear.

I've realized that's what it's like for a lot of us when it comes to Christ. Maybe you're like me. I grew up loving Jesus and going to church. When I was 12 I decided I wanted to be a Christian. I was eager and enthusiastic. I thought I was living for the Lord. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that I was still on top of that platform holding onto the bar for dear life. I had wanted to be there all along but when the time came I wasn't willing to let go of my life, trust God and fall headfirst into the new life Jesus was waiting to give me.

So I stood there trembling in fear and second guessing my decision. Thankfully, God provided me with experienced jump techs who basically assured me of those same three things that convinced me to jump that first day in the rainforest. They reassured me with Jesus' promise of eternal life, freedom, and a trip home with no regrets.

Even if you're a Christian, are you a Christian who was enthusiastic to get to the top but you're still there holding onto a bar or are you a Christian who decided to relinquish all control to Christ and jump headfirst into His plans?

In July of 2012, after a long time waiting at the top and many fears, I jumped headfirst into a new life with nothing but trust and faith in God's love and promise. It is the best thing I have ever done in my entire life. I would honestly recommend it to anyone. You won't regret going through with it.

Just let go.

EMS Taught Me This: Part 1

Mock accident. No one is actually hurt.

I want to tell you something and I want you to put away any doubt and any fear. I want you to just give in and believe that what I am about to tell you is the absolute truth and that there is no circumstance that changes this truth. Truth cannot be defeated or destroyed but it can be ignored. I need you to know that the only thing that can push away this truth that I am about to tell you is your own doubt and fear. Are you ready? Feeling all warm and fuzzy and ready to wholeheartedly accept what I’m about to tell you? Alright, here it is:

You are always capable of more than you think.

Always, always, always, every single time. Nice and simple eh? The truth always is. EMS has taught me this. Not the truth part - Jesus taught me that. I mean EMS has taught me this specific truth that you are undoubtedly always more capable than you give yourself credit for. I am an example of this, my patients are an example of this, my patient’s families are an example of this. 

You know what the most common thing is I hear from my patients when we are discussing what it is like to work on the ambulance? It’s this:

“I could never do what you do.”

What I do? Really? It’s flattering I suppose to some degree when people think you’re amazing because you turned the pillow to the cool side for them. However, I know there are some of my peers in the industry who would believe that most people couldn’t do what we do, but I’m not inclined to agree. 

Writing comes easily to me. It has always been the next best thing to effortless for me. But EMS? Nope. I can’t think of anything in EMS that came particularly easy to me when I was first learning. I remember when I quite literally could not lift the stretcher if there had even been the weight of a bunny on it. I remember being nervous about cracking open an oxygen tank, fumbling with nasal cannulas, awkward about doing physical assessments on people, wondering what crackles in the lungs really sounded like, the list goes on. And now, all of that and more comes as easily to me as putting my hair in a pony tail. It’s all stuff I learned. Anyone could learn it if they wanted to. But that’s the thing, you have to have some driving force. “Want” was mine (I guess the more literary pleasing word would be ‘desire’ but I’m gonna go with ‘want’). I didn’t know the difference between a BVM, BGL, NRB, NC, KCL, D50 etc, but I wanted to learn. I didn’t know what it was like to crawl into an overturned car to check on a trapped patient, or to be the first person to initiate CPR or to hold a stranger’s hand while they cried but I wanted to learn how to have the privilege of being there in someone’s time of need. It was something I wanted to do. That’s how I was able to do it, not because of some innate ability. There will be other medics who will argue that you have to have a certain mindset (a mixture of eery calm under fire and sense of black humour perhaps) to survive in this job. I think that if you didn’t have or possess the potential for that “mindset” you wouldn’t want to learn the EMS skill set. That is not the same as capability. This is what I’m trying to establish. All of those people who tell me, 

“I could never do what you do” I want to tell them (and sometimes I do) “Yes, you could. We are far more capable than we give ourselves credit for. The thing is, would you want to do what I do?”

I can hear some of you now. Blood? No thanks. Germs? Ugh. Needles? Not likely! Sure, that’s fine if you know without a doubt that EMS is something you have no interest in. But if you do have an inkling that you might like to try it, then don’t let yourself think that you are not capable. I can assure you that you are.

Now that is just me applying this truth in medicalanese. That’s the great thing about truth though, it is always applicable regardless of the circumstance. So, if you have a bit of a ho-hum job and you would like to do something else but you’re not sure whether you can handle a pay cut, or having to go back to school or putting the kids in daycare, you can! You will always be able to do more than you think. The question is do you want to?

You are capable of jumping out of a plane, you are capable of starting your own business, you are capable of raising another kid, you are capable of going into the mission field, you are capable of leaving your abusive boyfriend, you are capable of kicking that bad habit. Even though you will feel that you can’t do it, you need to know that the truth is that you can. The question is really whether or not you have enough of a driving force to make you want to do it. 

You are always more capable than you think. The only thing that can make you ignore this truth is your own doubt and fear. So I’m asking you once more to put away your doubt and fear. Imagine that thing you’ve wished you could do but don’t feel that you’re capable of. 

Do you want to do it? Because if want to do it, rest assured you are capable. It is the truth. 

EMS taught me this.