I know that when my dad got his call, a few months after my brother was born, he was ecstatic. I’m sure my mom was excited too, they probably called their parents to share the news and then had some sort of little celebration. However, I’ve wondered now and again how long it took for my mom’s shared excitement to wear off and for trepidation to set in. After all, the phone call meant two different paths for them for the next six months with the same goal in the end. My dad would head off to Saskatchewan for six months where he would live the dorm life with “the guys” learning new things while pursuing his dream of wearing the red serge. My mom’s life would require just as much, if not more adaptation.
I’m not sure how it is now as it seems to change every few years or so, but in the ‘80s the RCMP gave you an allowance while you were at Depot. This fund was really intended to help support the cadet and was not sufficient to support a family on. Depot is also a six-month commitment that requires cadets to live on-site - no family living quarters. This basically equaled two things for my mother. First, that she was going to be apart from her husband, looking after two small children for six months. Secondly, they were not going to be financially sustainable. So, they sold the house and put virtually everything into storage. They sent my cat to live. . .actually, I don’t know where they sent my cat, but he was in Alberta when I got here. . .hmmmm. Anyhoo, they took care of their belongings, my dad shipped out to Saskatchewan and Mom took Cam and I to live at my Grandma’s little apartment in the GTA for six months.
SIX MONTHS! A three-year-old and a little baby in a small apartment with your mother and without your husband for half a year (have you hugged your red serge/army wife today?). This is why I roll my eyes when I hear people verbalize how hard it is to be away from your spouse for even a week. Suck it up Princess. My mom’s a strong lady but I don’t know how she did it. I was three, other than developing an imaginary friend, I was quite content with talking to my daddy on the phone and getting a “California Raisins” tambourine in the mail from him. My brother was a bit of an over-achiever as a baby and he had mastered running before my dad walked through the door again. Now, imagine being in a small apartment chasing around a baby while your three-year-old hammers out a tune on a tambourine and tells you that her imaginary friend has been shot (a whole other story). Wow. She did it because this was the dream. She just had to make it through six months and then her husband would be back with a lifetime career complete with a full pension and benefits and he’d be happy to have achieved what he had been dreaming of since he was a little kid. They could start on their new adventure together.
Adventure is the word. When men sign up for the RCMP they signed on the line saying they will go anywhere they are told in this fine country of ours. For years, their wives have been making the same sacrifices to go with them. Would you be willing to give up everything to follow someone else’s career? I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying “no” to that question. However, I think it’s incredibly noble to say “yes”. It wasn’t even a question for my mom really. My dad is her first priority and the motto “as long as we’re together the rest will fall in place” was already a way of life. But this doesn’t eliminate the challenges that a red serge wife may face.
We all went to Depot for my dad’s graduation. Then we said good-bye to our family and headed west. Our first posting was Spruce Grove, much smaller back in ’89 than it is today. My mom left her entire family in Ontario. She was very close to her mom and her sister. She also had numerous aunts, uncles and cousins. She sacrificed the security of her home province and having family nearby to come to a town where she knew no one and started a new life, learning the ropes of being married to a Mountie. Being married to a Mountie means miscellaneous things like shift work schedules, firearms in the house and phone calls and visits from “clients” looking for your husband. It can mean being treated with favour because your husband is a policeman and just as equally can mean being treated poorly for the same reason. It means fielding legal questions that you don’t have the answers to and it means being at every one of your kid’s events to tell them that their dad would love to be there if he could. At some postings it means living in a glass house, always under scrutiny and held to higher expectations. It means making friends you can trust and doing it all over again when you’re transferred.
The other thing about being transferred is that the RCMP doesn’t care what your spouse is involved in, where they work, the activities that they’re committed to. They say “jump”. You say “how high?”. My mom’s had to give up jobs that she was already well on her way to turning into a career when the Force said “jump”. But as I keep saying, my mother is a multi-talented and very determined individual. She may be a stellar Red Serge wife, but she’s a career woman in her own right.
To be continued. . .
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