Something's Gotta Give: Part 2 of 2

So in my last post I was talking about how there are times when life really, really sucks. I was eventually trying to get to the point that I believe something has got to give at some point. Something has to change. I have no idea what that change is for other people. I have some idea of what that change usually entails for Christians, though how it is experienced is different for each person. Now, if you’re reading this and you don’t subscribe to my God, that’s okay, welcome here, I just wanted to let you know that the rest of this post will be from a follower-of-Christ POV, and that it’s totally not my intent to alienate you, it’s just that it’s the only point of view I know, and so it’s the only one I can write from in this case.

To continue, It hasn’t been long since I decided to leave my metaphorical security rigged, deadbolted house. In fact, I’m probably still standing at the door. So there I was standing at the door, trying to get by when a group of people came out of nowhere and slammed the door on my fingers. It really freaking hurt. It hurt me personally. It further confirms my strong suspicions that people, especially my own gender, can be especially cruel (after that confession you’re probably wondering where the Christian POV is. lol). This is something I have a hard time with. And me, being me, I began stress over the human condition, among other anti-productive worries.

Thankfully, the night before this happened I was scanning blogs and I read one by Kelly Needham. In it she talked about the parallels between feeling discouraged and far from God with having idols before God. I had always thought of idols in a literal sense, like worshipping a statue of another god, or maybe even worshipping Justin Bieber instead of God (perish the thought, ugh). However, Kelly explained that we create idols out of our personal desires that we obsess over. When we are focusing on our desires, and depending on them to bring us happiness we are not focused on God. This is a huge problem because the most important command in the Bible is that we love our God with all our heart, soul and mind. When I am obsessing over things like how people can treat others cruelly, marriage and EMS, I am not giving enough of myself to God. It’s basically saying, “Father, I know that you’ve looked after me really well up until now, but I still don’t trust you worth a damn.”

As I sat in my car (I do a lot of thinking in my car) I remembered this new found truth and I wiped my eyes took a deep breath and picked up the phone. Being concerned with the human condition was not going to fix this problem. That night, at considerably late hours I talked to three different people, two of which I had never even met. Together we came up with a plan to deal with these door slamming people. By the end of the next day I had made a plan with six people. I now have an army behind me when I go to deal with the door slammers. I still hurt and I’m still a bit anxious about what will come of all this but by focusing on God and creating a plan I realized that these door slamming girls and their pettiness are not worth my heart, mind and soul. They are simply part of the human condition and I have something that conquers the human condition.

I’ve only been really working to turn my focus to God for a few days now but since then I’ve seen his hand everywhere, and it’s been a looooonnnnngggg time since I’ve really felt with certainty that he was speaking to me. I’ve had two random people come up to me to tell me how thankful they are for the work that I and my coworkers do, and I mean random - for one of those conversations I wasn’t even wearing a uniform (I was wearing clothes though . . get your mind out of the gutter). The other morning I was woken up by a massive clap of thunder. I adore thunder, the louder and more earth shaking the better. Every roll of thunder was incredibly loud and shook my house. I have not heard thunder that awesome in years. It may seem silly, but to me that’s a gift from God.

Today, my cousin Beth posted a quote on facebook from Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch Christian who hid Jews in her home until she was captured and taken to a concentration camp and survived when a clerical error saw her released a week before the group of women she was with at the camp were executed. This quote is perfect.

"If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God you'll be at rest."

Your focus determines your feelings. This is my very new experience. I don’t know if my dark night is over or if this is just a reprieve but I do know that at some point, something has got to give. You may have noticed that I didn’t go into much depth on what the dark night of the soul or the law of undulation are. For some reason I feel that if I try to explain it on here, it won’t be as meaningful as going and reading about it yourself. Yes, I realize that doesn’t really make sense. I will leave a few links that you could try, and I would say that the best explanation of “the law of undulation” is in Chapter 8 of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Corrie ten Boom said a lot of really great stuff too and you should check her out. Mother Teresa felt that her “dark night of the spirit” lasted for the majority of her adult life, only receding months before her death.

I would also say that you don’t have to look far to meet people who are in a dark night or have been in a dark night. As much as I am predisposed to not like people very much or to think that we are extremely cruel to each other, I can still realize that the pain we cause each other is greatly due to apathy, misunderstanding and miscommunication. I don’t really have an all-encompassing way to end this post so I will leave a couple of other quotes that help when people make your life more difficult than it need be.

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something.”

~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.

“Everyone is only three questions away from tears.”

~Some very smart person, though I’m not sure who.

Kelly Needham’s Blog
http://kellyneedham.wordpress.com/

Quotes by Corrie ten Boom
http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/102203.Corrie_Ten_Boom

The Dark Night of the Soul
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul

The Law of Undulation
http://bama.ua.edu/~casey006/216/screwtape.html
(Go to Chapter VIII)